Daydreaming somewhere in Toronto, Joy Thompson is clapping, snapping doo-pop for the world weary, introspective soul. 

BUT WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOO........ (AKA Live Through This) 

Okay,so part of that title was just a smoke screen to reference Hole's 1994 album which really does cover a lot of ground on how shitty it is to be a woman in this world. But that's not what this post is about, this post is about REJECTION!!!!!

Yep that's right, REJECTION ( I know right?, why do I keep yelling it? because this is how you hear it in your head, that's why) this post is about choosing someone that doesn't choose you, wanting someone that doesn't want you, caring about someone that doesn't care about you. Some people find out about this in a marriage, some people find out in a romantic relationship, some people find out in an alleged friendship or from a family member and some in an unrequited love situation, whatever the deal the hand sucks.

It's hurtful knowing that you care about someone who either doesn't care much or cares very little for you. It's heart-wrenching knowing that you'd like someone in your life in whatever context when that person doesn't want to be there. Well there's no solution. I'm sorry but there isn't. It hurts, it sucks but it heals with time much like all things, it may always sting a little but it will never feel as fresh as the moments when you experienced it and it won't spend forever immobilizing you and locking you in a prison of self-doubt. It's not the end of the world unless you want it to be.

It's hard to come back swinging from something like this, so often it's best not to swing, try slowly crawling out when you're ready a little bit at a time. The most important thing is giving ourselves space to heal when we need it, jumping back into life again is just a band-aid reaction that will eventually cause an infection. The trick is to feel it, suffer it and know that eventually it won't feel that way. This is the hardest part to it (trust me, I know) but human resiliency goes with the territory, we can and will be okay, it's possible. I know it sucks, I feel it, let it suck, until it doesn't.

-Joy (here and there)

I Am Buggin' 

That's it, that's the post. I'm a Woman and I'm Black, that makes me a Black Woman and sometimes every single fucking aspect of being both in North America sucks.




Oh this isn't an instructional post, I genuinely thought you'd help a sista out here. You see my usual coping mechanisms revolve around going to the gym, taking a writing class, taking a salsa class, taking a silks class, learning something new, going to the studio, blah blah beefcakes...

As you can very well see, none of these options are available to me now and I'm quite put out about it. Oh how I long for the days of haphazardly watching Netflix on my phone as I suffer away on the elliptical, it was hardly suffering to be honest, I quite enjoyed it frankly (except those first few years after the accident) but I thought it best to be dramatic. Yes I yearn for the days awaiting the start of a new salsa class (actually I rather hate the waiting beforehand, it gives me slight anxiety) but whatever and whatnot the point is I miss stuff!

A doer of stuff, a maker of things, a stuff maker. I just absolutely adore doing stuff, learning stuff, creating stuff, discovering stuff and COVID19 has really destroyed that opportunity for me in nearly every conceivable way. I don't have a super positive Tracy Flick-esque ending to this blog splat, this is literally just to say that I am buggin' and I am spent and boy do I wish people would vote NDP and understand Socialism as a concept that is meant to help us and not hurt us.

People really seem to look at Socialism like it's Capitalism when Capitalism is Capitalism and Capitalism has the worst baby in the world Lil' White Supremacy who is very much like that freaky over-sized baby of days of quarantine yore. I just want people to give a fuck about other people, not to the extent that everyone is partying with everyone and chilling with people they absolutely cannot stand but to the extent that horrible human rights issues that other people go through bother them.

I want it to bother people if someone doesn't have a home, I want it to bother people if someone experiences racial violence, I need it to bother people if someone experiences sexual violence, or to agitate people that someone sunk all their money and heart into a small business to watch the Ontario Government work in concert with COVID19 to destroy it. I want it to irritate people that a vulnerable person has been stuck in their house for a year and still isn't on the list for a vaccine, etc.. etc... and I can't help but notice that the longer we move away from that mindset the longer COVID19 digs in its heels and the more eggs (read variants) it hatches to thwart our attempts at separateness. We really just have to do better, and we really do need to give a shit about other people. I am absolutely convinced that we don't have a shot in hell at getting out of this mess unless we do.

Your Comrade in Arms,



Why, Why Why MEEEEEEEEEEEE (And Other Self-Pitying Soliloquies) 

I'm a Taurus. You should know this by now because I use nearly every damn opportunity to tell you but what you may not know is that my Moon is in Pisces and My Rising is Cancer. Baby that is A LOT of water and with water (as I'm sure you know) comes tears, many many tears. In fact the Water Signs are absolutely profound at the poor me attitude, it goes a little something like this....

Cancer: Why are you doing this to meeeee?

Pisces: Why am I doing this to meeee?

Scorpio: Why is everyone so mean to meeee? (is mean to everyone)

Yep, the Water Signs have this self-pitying shit on lock, Air Signs are pretty good at it too only they disguise it under self-flagellation and toxic, self-sabotaging behaviour.

But you can see where the self-pity comes from. It took me a long, very sad time not to automatically default into    self-pity in nearly every miserable situation. In fact it still acts as a default often but I don't spend too much time there, to be quite honest I get bored. There's not much constructive benefit to feeling sorry for yourself when you think about it, it doesn't really get you any place and with a Mercury in Aries and a Signature Leo I like to get places, man.

So what I've learned is to allot time for self-pity but in a very Virgo way. Honey set that timer, cry, bitch, kvetch, journal then get to doing something about it. Because between you and me I find when I sit too long in that feeling it really lowers my vibration, a moment becomes a feeling which becomes an experience which becomes a (very toxic) environment and it's not even the truth of that situation, it's just a moment so it truly helps when you treat it as such. 

The other day in a particular state of self-pity I watched this movie and it hit me like a brick. For context Demi Moore plays a lieutenant trying to get past training in the Marines and she is the first woman to do so, she gets A LOT of flack, zero help, zero cheerleading, zero ambiguous moral support and she doesn't spend one second feeling sorry for herself. Not one damn second. It's real Angelina Jolie energy and it's inspiring (one of these days I'm going to do a blog on inspiring movies) So if you're feeling like crap and you haven't identified yet that the crap isn't you and you're wallowing in your state like some kind of Gwyneth Paltrow, let me WAKE YOU UP (and myself, frankly).  Feeling bad is easy, it's what a capitalist society wants you to feel so you'll buy more shit. But you don't need more shit, you just need to ground yourself and focus on the things that make you happy, you do what you can about the things that make you unhappy and do your best to give yourself the grace that no one gave you.

Your Comrade in Arms,



Sorry, didn't mean to yell, it's just that my Mercury is in Aries and I really can't stand how y'all hold your tongues on everything. We're in a pandemic and an apocalypse, if there was ever a time to speak up, now would be it guys! I mean you can speak up in any situation but let's start with the uncomfortable ones and go from there. 

Now it seems to me that the majority of you don't like speaking up because of the reaction you'll receive from others,(that's fair)  let's examine that for a minute, what is it about the reaction that frightens you? That they won't like you? That they won't listen to you? That they think you suck? What if I told you that it didn't matter. What if I told you that unless they're a vital person in your life that their opinion of you holds no weight and even if they ARE a vital person in your life that they shouldn't hold that title without harnessing the ability to truly listen to you and give credence to your thoughts and feelings.

What if I told you that your feelings have value and your thoughts and opinions matter and are important to this landscape? What if I told you that anyone who truly deserves to be in your life will give a flying fuck about your opinion and will actively encourage you to speak your mind? Well I'm telling you that right now.

Speaking your mind will weed out the low vibrational people in your life and make way for those who are on your frequency, and it is vitally important to share space with those who share your values, who have their own dreams and their own goals. Let's use music as an example, there are certain frequencies that we can't hear at certain stages and ages in life, if you look at this from an emotional perspective, if you're vibrating in a negative frequency then  connecting with someone on a higher frequency will be more difficult, it will be hard to get in the space to understand them and where they are coming from. Similarly if you are vibrating at a low frequency you are calling in other low vibe people like the Bat Signal in Gotham, and low vibe people love a pity party and I can tell you from excessive experience, pity parties suck.

It's very easy to vibrate in a low space when you haven't spoken up and shared what's on your mind. A lot of people think that feelings are something that you can shove down or ignore but feelings don't just disappear apropos of nothing, feelings have to purged and the longer you ignore them the more toxic they become, which is why speaking up is of the utmost importance. It may feel uncomfortable at first but I can assure you it's not nearly as uncomfortable as a heart attack, cancer, or any well documented disease that can manifest as the result of stress. Every time you speak your mind think of it as a gift to yourself. Get used to self-gifting, get used to self-support, get used to making yourself proud. Dump that little voice in your head that told you should shut your pie hole (especially if that voice was a parent, miserable relative or "loved one") and open up. 

Speaking up could save your life, or someone else's whether you're advocating for yourself at the doctor's office or advocating for someone else's safety while intervening in a problematic situation. Please don't feel as though you're being selfish speaking up for yourself, many people have been gaslit into believing this and it's a lie. You can't fill up someone else's cup if you're running on empty, this is why they say you need to put the airbag on yourself first. Do this in life! Remember your airbag, remember your value and remember that just because it feels uncomfortable advocating for yourself at first, doesn't mean it always will, like most things in life, it gets easier the more you practice it. Rooting for you virtually!




But Gwyneth Said..... 

Yeah, this post is not gonna end well. Nobody gives a rat's butt what "Gwyneth Said" I know, I know, but I just think it's funny that she's spent so much of her career being haughty and solipsistic and the chicken comes home to roost nearly every.time (no word on her latest rich, white, nonsense at press time) The tweets in her head should really just stay there tbh, leave it in draft Gwyneth! Leave it in draft. With that in mind, let's take a look at her greatest hits, hurts, gut punches, horrific soliloquies, GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN.....


Yeah, it's ugly, hell it's fugly (remember that word? ) Yes folx, Gwyneth is awful, but I'd have to say the gift that keeps on giving is the time she snottily proclaimed that she felt that in the future "Clueless will be far more dated than Emma" yes Emma, the boring little Jane Austen book turned movie that Gwyneth starred in at the height of her head-ballooning (which also coincided with her dating the most popular man in the world at that time, William Bradley Pitt).

Now now, don't chew my head off, I'm certainly not declaring Emma, the book, to be boring (I read half of it, and for someone who recoils like a snake at Fiction that's quite a lot thank you) but when I tell you that if you have problems sleeping you need to pop in the "arthouse" film I'm not being snippy (well perhaps a little) I am TRULY trying to cure you of your insomnia because this movie is like watching paint watch paint dry. Yes, I said it, and I meant it.

So dear friends, if you take anything from this blog post take thou this, Vagina Scented candles are a TERRIBLE idea, Clueless is a timeless classic and Gwyneth Paltrow is a solipsistic, little twat. You're welcome and Good Day!



What Is Grief If Not Love Persevering? 

Okay, pipe down robot! I know that you've been on the planet a total of approximately 3 years tops but wouldn't it be just dandy if grief was lingering love floating in a cloud of inconvenience. Just.dandy. Nope, grief be wilin' and we be wilin' in it. Wish there was a way to make it pretty, but alas no. When you lose something, someone, an idea, a dream a free gift card to Sephora, that shit hurts and there really is no way out but through, and it's not the through that hurts the most. It's the hemming and hawing and putting off what you have to let go that causes the most pain, the bargaining, the last lingering vestiges of hope that have somehow crawled into your soul and nested. WE MUST DIG IT OUT!!!! Ah yes, for Spring is springing and we don't want dead hope springing from our souls like a bad Pauly Shore movie do we? (that was redundant, I know). Yes we must let it goooooo as Elsa, or I don't know that weird, White Witch lady who had the powers when her sister(?) or relative or something didn't, said (I haven't seen the movie, could have used a different metaphor frankly but I'm ornery). Let go of that which does not serve us, or serves us but serves us crap, or serves us sometimes then other times serves that woman or man down the street, or never served us to begin with but acted like they wanted to or...whatever you get the point. Let's do it, kids....let's move forward with love, or fortitude, okay that's too much but let's just move forward, it's hella depressing back here!


Your Quasi-Friend,


P.S Happy Somebody Got Nailed to a Wooden Something For You Yet We Failed To Follow His Very Simple Request Anyway Day....



"You can't handle the truth!"

Yeah, sorry y'all, we're not in A Few Good Men, at least that movie had a positive outcome in the midst of the nonsense, hell that movie ain't even on Netflix OR Disney Plus so I'm really just hurting you here but I did want to point out a few things.


"Ontario has, so far, received 1.7 million doses of the COVID-19 vaccine, and has administered more than 1.5 million, leaving 227,000 doses unused."

is directly from this, which is alluding to the fact that Amelia Bedelia is not only holding back the billions of dollars from Trudeau's Government but he's also now holding back on the vaccines (227,000 of them to be exact) so there won't be any "hiccups" in administering them. Sir, SIR, YOU'RE THE HICCUP IN ADMINISTERING THEM.

Of course not to sound like a broken record, but I'm fairly certain that cases would drop exponentially if people took leave from work instead of heading in while they were feeling sick as a dog (woof) spreading it all around. Why do they keep doing that?!?!?

Could it be because they can't afford to stay home? Could it be because the majority of this province is living paycheque to paycheque like some kind of poor people trope from the Hunger Games? Could it be that they are afraid they won't be able to pay their bills if they skip out on work? Man, if only there was a way to combat this terrible situation. 

If only we had been provided with the money to help us during this troubling time.

Oh, and not for nothing but the factory I work at is based in Vancouver and all their employees got vaccinated today. Factory Workers were prioritized as a high risk community for spreading. Imagine common sense in politics hey?

Y'all need to vote NDP, I'm so sick of this mess.


-Joy (sort of)

P.S I mean it y'all, NDP or bust (and we already bustin' bruh)


Toxic Tweets, The Kardashians and the Social Media Lie, 

Y'all this is a PSA for those lost to the toxicity of the Kardashian family dynamic. A few key points to assist you with the advantageous endgame of not playing yourself.

1. The Right Person Will Never Get Tired of You.

This is bullshit. Everyone will get tired of you, You will get tired of you. How can you expect someone not to get tired of you when we all wake up some mornings looking in the mirror like "Damn homey, you again?"                                   Bruh, everyone gets tired of everyone, parents get tired of their children and they birthed them! People need space, people need alone time, people need other people outside their romantic relationships. No man is an island but similarly no relationship is a paradise. In any relationship whether romantic or platonic, people need their own space, people need time apart, this is the reason we were all born and we all die alone. Being with someone 24-7 isn't "relationship goals" it's toxic. Develop your own sense of self and your own skills and passions so that when someone needs a break from you you're not crying in your ice cream talkin' 'bout "YOU SAID I WAS THE ONE!!" Toxic.

2. The Right Person Will Know Exactly How to Love You

NO THEY WON'T. This is the entire purpose of communication. As far as I'm aware we've not yet cracked the ability to read others' minds as a species and even if someone is deeply in love with you they still need you to articulate what you're feeling. You still need to share your triggers, your traumas, what makes you happy, sad etc to give anyone in any kind of relationship with you some sense of how to love you and what makes you feel safe. Expecting someone to know you by heart without doing the work of articulating and expressing to them who you are and what you need is not only childish but incredibly toxic and completely unfair to anyone in or embarking on a relationship with you.

3. The Right Person Will Only Be Attracted to Me

What? *sigh* There's so much to unpack here that I'm just going to leave it at NO.

4. The Right Person Will Know How to Handle Me At My Worst.

The right person will still want to be with you at your worst, yes but you better not make your worst an everyday occasion just because the right person can "handle" it. That's abuse.

5.The Right Person Will Be Proud to Show Me Off

Again, no. Some people just aren't the showy type. Some folks can be deeply in love and still want to keep it to themselves because they're just not the type to flaunt things. This is the solipsistic "If a tree falls in the forest.." line of thinking. A relationship is still a relationship even if it's not plastered all over social media. Some people just like their privacy, the Kardashian family has y'all thinking that's a red flag but it's actually pretty healthy to keep personal things to yourself, not everything requires an audience. (Which reminds me how much I absolutely abhor RomComs for the simple fact that they always have a massive PDA at the end, THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE). A relationship is still a relationship even if the entire world isn't applauding you for it.

6. The Right Person Will Make Me Happy.

No. You are responsible for making you happy. As Will Smith says, It's unrealistic and inconsiderate (and quite frankly absurd) to expect someone to do something for you that you can't even do for yourself. Even if they could "make you happy" in the short term, that's not something that anyone can keep up to any long term effect. It would be, unequivocally exhausting to endeavour.  

To play the other side for a moment, what if they do make you happy? What if being with this person is what makes you so absurdly happy that, if they leave you temporarily or permanently you are unable to find that happiness? What will you do then? If one person is the complete source of your happiness that same person can be the complete source of your misery when they decide not to "make you happy" anymore. Putting this kind of power in someone else's hands is not only a burden on them but a completely insane thing to do to yourself. Find ways to make yourself happy that aren't entirely incumbent on another person or you will surely and shortly find yourself miserable.

Ultimately, relying on a reality tv family for lessons in relationships will be everyone's downfall, if you'd like to know how to make money (off the backs of others) and live a lavish life of excess, absolutely follow the Kardashian bible (I think you'll need a cool few million first to start though) but if you're looking for relationship advice from celebrities try looking to the ones who've lasted The Denzels and Paulettes, the Goldies and Kurts, the Stings and Trudies, the Lebrons and Savannahs. People who don't need to flaunt their relationship to prove the value of it. Social Media can be (A LOT of) fun but it can also be quite damaging once we start internalizing toxic views created to boost brands disguised as relationships. Enjoy it if you can but try to be discerning, a brand and a relationship can look pretty similar if marketed the right way.





Finding Meaning in Misery... 

Oh, you didn't think I had this egg cracked did you? Sorry 'bout it, I'm literally asking for tips. It's getting ugly out here, the cases are going up, our Premier is an absolute blockhead not fit for any job much less one that hinges on the health, safety and lives of so many, and even with the vaccines rolling out Doug Ford has found a way to royally screw that up too. If this wasn't the darkest timeline I'd be convinced he was a nefarious, poorly written character created by Marc Guggenheim. (I know, so many pop culture references)

I'll have you know (for those blaming Trudeau for the vaccine issues) that this all traces back to Stephen Harper (not Ford being a blockhead, that's self-contained) but the fact that we don't manufacture our own vaccines (which is why we're so behind on vaccination as a nation (that rhymed) (and yes I know a parentheses within a parentheses is upsetting, I apologize) behiiiiiiiiiind) yes indeedy, Stephen Harper's "war on science" is what precipitated the shut down of many (would-be useful) pharmaceutical factories and science labs, so now there's nowhere to make said vaccines in Canada. Well goddamnit!

(I know!)

The likelihood of Harper having done this to crawl into the back of America's pocket and lick it's ass (gluteus maximus for those still putting on airs) is high. Yes Harper is American and wanted desperately for Canada to be as well. He also doesn't enjoy thinking or thoughts unless it makes him money, and his party (can we legally call the Conservatives a party anymore since they're the least fun thing since syphilis?) works really really hard to suppress them, as well as Black People, Indigenous People, LGBTQ, Poor People, Disabled People, Veterans, well the list goes on. I guess my point is that I'm having a bad time here and I think I would be having a better time if Kathleen Wynne was still in power, in fact I know I would be having a better time (and I say this as a card carrying NDPer) so please God, and folks populating this here hell dimension we call earth, STOP VOTING CONSERVATIVE! Vote for people who have your interests and well being in mind and to be clear if you're not all these things: an asshole, straight, white, rich, able-bodied, and a cis-gender man then the Tories/Conservatives, (the ugly grey toned chunk of folks that look like they're auditioning for the next season of "Making a Murderer ") are not for you. We can do better folks! Let's try, pleeeeeeeeease!


-Joy (sort of)