Why, Why Why MEEEEEEEEEEEE (And Other Self-Pitying Soliloquies)

I'm a Taurus. You should know this by now because I use nearly every damn opportunity to tell you but what you may not know is that my Moon is in Pisces and My Rising is Cancer. Baby that is A LOT of water and with water (as I'm sure you know) comes tears, many many tears. In fact the Water Signs are absolutely profound at the poor me attitude, it goes a little something like this....

Cancer: Why are you doing this to meeeee?

Pisces: Why am I doing this to meeee?

Scorpio: Why is everyone so mean to meeee? (is mean to everyone)

Yep, the Water Signs have this self-pitying shit on lock, Air Signs are pretty good at it too only they disguise it under self-flagellation and toxic, self-sabotaging behaviour.

But you can see where the self-pity comes from. It took me a long, very sad time not to automatically default into    self-pity in nearly every miserable situation. In fact it still acts as a default often but I don't spend too much time there, to be quite honest I get bored. There's not much constructive benefit to feeling sorry for yourself when you think about it, it doesn't really get you any place and with a Mercury in Aries and a Signature Leo I like to get places, man.

So what I've learned is to allot time for self-pity but in a very Virgo way. Honey set that timer, cry, bitch, kvetch, journal then get to doing something about it. Because between you and me I find when I sit too long in that feeling it really lowers my vibration, a moment becomes a feeling which becomes an experience which becomes a (very toxic) environment and it's not even the truth of that situation, it's just a moment so it truly helps when you treat it as such. 

The other day in a particular state of self-pity I watched this movie and it hit me like a brick. For context Demi Moore plays a lieutenant trying to get past training in the Marines and she is the first woman to do so, she gets A LOT of flack, zero help, zero cheerleading, zero ambiguous moral support and she doesn't spend one second feeling sorry for herself. Not one damn second. It's real Angelina Jolie energy and it's inspiring (one of these days I'm going to do a blog on inspiring movies) So if you're feeling like crap and you haven't identified yet that the crap isn't you and you're wallowing in your state like some kind of Gwyneth Paltrow, let me WAKE YOU UP (and myself, frankly).  Feeling bad is easy, it's what a capitalist society wants you to feel so you'll buy more shit. But you don't need more shit, you just need to ground yourself and focus on the things that make you happy, you do what you can about the things that make you unhappy and do your best to give yourself the grace that no one gave you.

Your Comrade in Arms,


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