Joy Thompson Music Tarot-Reading Songbird

Y'all this is a PSA for those lost to the toxicity of the Kardashian family dynamic. A few key points to assist you with the advantageous endgame of not playing yourself.

1. The Right Person Will Never Get Tired of You.

This is bullshit. Everyone will get tired of you, You will get tired of you. How can you expect someone not to get tired of you when we all wake up some mornings looking in the mirror like "Damn homey, you again?"                                   Bruh, everyone gets tired of everyone, parents get tired of their children and they birthed them! People need space, people need alone time, people need other people outside their romantic relationships. No man is an island but similarly no relationship is a paradise. In any relationship whether romantic or platonic, people need their own space, people need time apart, this is the reason we were all born and we all die alone. Being with someone 24-7 isn't "relationship goals" it's toxic. Develop your own sense of self and your own skills and passions so that when someone needs a break from you you're not crying in your ice cream talkin' 'bout "YOU SAID I WAS THE ONE!!" Toxic.

2. The Right Person Will Know Exactly How to Love You

NO THEY WON'T. This is the entire purpose of communication. As far as I'm aware we've not yet cracked the ability to read others' minds as a species and even if someone is deeply in love with you they still need you to articulate what you're feeling. You still need to share your triggers, your traumas, what makes you happy, sad etc to give anyone in any kind of relationship with you some sense of how to love you and what makes you feel safe. Expecting someone to know you by heart without doing the work of articulating and expressing to them who you are and what you need is not only childish but incredibly toxic and completely unfair to anyone in or embarking on a relationship with you.

3. The Right Person Will Only Be Attracted to Me

What? *sigh* There's so much to unpack here that I'm just going to leave it at NO.

4. The Right Person Will Know How to Handle Me At My Worst.

The right person will still want to be with you at your worst, yes but you better not make your worst an everyday occasion just because the right person can "handle" it. That's abuse.

5.The Right Person Will Be Proud to Show Me Off

Again, no. Some people just aren't the showy type. Some folks can be deeply in love and still want to keep it to themselves because they're just not the type to flaunt things. This is the solipsistic "If a tree falls in the forest.." line of thinking. A relationship is still a relationship even if it's not plastered all over social media. Some people just like their privacy, the Kardashian family has y'all thinking that's a red flag but it's actually pretty healthy to keep personal things to yourself, not everything requires an audience. (Which reminds me how much I absolutely abhor RomComs for the simple fact that they always have a massive PDA at the end, THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE). A relationship is still a relationship even if the entire world isn't applauding you for it.

6. The Right Person Will Make Me Happy.

No. You are responsible for making you happy. As Will Smith says, It's unrealistic and inconsiderate (and quite frankly absurd) to expect someone to do something for you that you can't even do for yourself. Even if they could "make you happy" in the short term, that's not something that anyone can keep up to any long term effect. It would be, unequivocally exhausting to endeavour.  

To play the other side for a moment, what if they do make you happy? What if being with this person is what makes you so absurdly happy that, if they leave you temporarily or permanently you are unable to find that happiness? What will you do then? If one person is the complete source of your happiness that same person can be the complete source of your misery when they decide not to "make you happy" anymore. Putting this kind of power in someone else's hands is not only a burden on them but a completely insane thing to do to yourself. Find ways to make yourself happy that aren't entirely incumbent on another person or you will surely and shortly find yourself miserable.

Ultimately, relying on a reality tv family for lessons in relationships will be everyone's downfall, if you'd like to know how to make money (off the backs of others) and live a lavish life of excess, absolutely follow the Kardashian bible (I think you'll need a cool few million first to start though) but if you're looking for relationship advice from celebrities try looking to the ones who've lasted The Denzels and Paulettes, the Goldies and Kurts, the Stings and Trudies, the Lebrons and Savannahs. People who don't need to flaunt their relationship to prove the value of it. Social Media can be (A LOT of) fun but it can also be quite damaging once we start internalizing toxic views created to boost brands disguised as relationships. Enjoy it if you can but try to be discerning, a brand and a relationship can look pretty similar if marketed the right way.

Joy

Oh, you didn't think I had this egg cracked did you? Sorry 'bout it, I'm literally asking for tips. It's getting ugly out here, the cases are going up, our Premier is an absolute blockhead not fit for any job much less one that hinges on the health, safety and lives of so many, and even with the vaccines rolling out Doug Ford has found a way to royally screw that up too. If this wasn't the darkest timeline I'd be convinced he was a nefarious, poorly written character created by Marc Guggenheim. (I know, so many pop culture references)

I'll have you know (for those blaming Trudeau for the vaccine issues) that this all traces back to Stephen Harper (not Ford being a blockhead, that's self-contained) but the fact that we don't manufacture our own vaccines (which is why we're so behind on vaccination as a nation (that rhymed) (and yes I know a parentheses within a parentheses is upsetting, I apologize) behiiiiiiiiiind) yes indeedy, Stephen Harper's "war on science" is what precipitated the shut down of many (would-be useful) pharmaceutical factories and science labs, so now there's nowhere to make said vaccines in Canada. Well goddamnit!

(I know!)

The likelihood of Harper having done this to crawl into the back of America's pocket and lick it's ass (gluteus maximus for those still putting on airs) is high. Yes Harper is American and wanted desperately for Canada to be as well. He also doesn't enjoy thinking or thoughts unless it makes him money, and his party (can we legally call the Conservatives a party anymore since they're the least fun thing since syphilis?) works really really hard to suppress them, as well as Black People, Indigenous People, LGBTQ, Poor People, Disabled People, Veterans, well the list goes on. I guess my point is that I'm having a bad time here and I think I would be having a better time if Kathleen Wynne was still in power, in fact I know I would be having a better time (and I say this as a card carrying NDPer) so please God, and folks populating this here hell dimension we call earth, STOP VOTING CONSERVATIVE! Vote for people who have your interests and well being in mind and to be clear if you're not all these things: an asshole, straight, white, rich, able-bodied, and a cis-gender man then the Tories/Conservatives, (the ugly grey toned chunk of folks that look like they're auditioning for the next season of "Making a Murderer ") are not for you. We can do better folks! Let's try, pleeeeeeeeease!

-Joy (sort of)

Yep, this is still happening. I know, I'm disappointed too, hence in a bid to be less horrified by simply every.single.thing that's going on I've taken to keeping myself busy making movie recommendations and plumping up my youtube account. I don't really have any advice for you musicians out there, or artists that can't engage in your craft as effectively, except to remember your community. Your arts community will lift you up in ways you can't even conceive of just by talking to them, working with them (remotely) and dreaming with them. Capitalism does a whole schtick where it likes to convince people that every man is an island but I'm pretty sure Covid has shat all over that notion, repeatedly. We are a community, whether we like it or not and we work best as humans when we embrace that where we can and where necessary.

I think for most people right now the best way to survive this miserable situation is to first connect to your community and secondly (and most importantly) grab on to whatever thing that thrills you and hold onto it. Notice I said whatever "thing" because that is something within your control, people are not your escape and it's an unfair burden to place on them to expect them to be. A community (like your friends, musicians, artists community) is there for mutual support and encouragement and to remind you that you're not the only one feeling this way, even though it may truly feel that way. This is different from shoving all your hopes and dreams into one person and expecting them to provide all of that for you. Don't hide in somebody in this pandemic, try to be brave enough to find yourself and find what makes you you, that's a gift that we can all try to give a little to ourselves during this terrible situation. Getting to know and appreciate yourself is the most important task you have in this life.

Lockdown is a good time to explore yourself and what makes YOU truly happy, the little things intrinsic to you that bring you joy (pardon the pun) and that can't be a person because people come and go and if your happiness is entirely incumbent on someone else then your misery sure will be too. I'm telling you to find something that thrills you and hop to it as best you can with limited resources. For me right now (because I can't go to the studio or play live and I don't have any songs brewing) it's making these little film suggestions with the extensive viewing history I have being a cinephile at a young age, so that's what I'm going to share until it bores me and I need something else to do. My point is let's just get through this, in whichever way we can (sans excessive use of substances and people). If you find something that gives you some tiny amount of pleasure in this absolute shitshow, embrace it, embrace it and envelop it like the gift it is. Don't worry about other people's thoughts on what gives you pleasure whether they're "friends" or "family" or whatnot, so long as you're not hurting anyone,(caveat:claiming your own time and space, doesn't qualify as hurting someone) just do what works for you, get through it, live through it, until you find you're no longer surviving but thriving instead. The day will come for those of us with heart. The sun will shine on us again. Keep on truckin' until then (and don't forget the rest stops along the way)....

Joy

No, I'm genuinely asking guys because in the past month I haven't seen one Toronto Police Officer wear one. We are still in a pandemic right? A panoramic? A Ponderosa? That's still happening right? Because I haven't been to the studio in over a year and if there's no pandabear happening I'm going to be sorely vexed.

I reckon it must still be going on because every time I leave my house I have this cloth thing on my face and I've purchased lipstick a total of one time this year (oh the humanity) So this is still happening yeah? Wear a mask people, (THAT INCLUDES YOU TORONTO POLICE, YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL) if Captain America can do it (and nearly every single Avenger before and after him) so can you. Plus if you're actually into fashion like you say, you should be accessorizing, this is your moment! Shine human, shine!

Joy

xoxo (but from a distance)

I'm Joy (still) and I'm Black (still) I figured some people may not have noticed this because there are still folks (unfortunately) who wander the globe muttering truly disturbing things such as "I don't see colour" well I hate that. I am most certainly brown-skinned and if you don't see that then you are most certainly not seeing me. Now I figured since we are on the eve of February (a month most Canadians hate because it's cold and awful) we are also on the eve of Black History Month, that being said it's a great time to bring up these key points....

1. Black People Are Not A Monolith

Just because that Black friend you had in school, at work, at camp etc talked, walked, behaved a certain way or didn't mind when you said or did XYZ doesn't mean they speak for all Black People, because we are people that means we all have different experiences, feelings, thoughts and values just like White People do.

2. Tiktok Is Racist (and also Homophobic/Transphobic/Misogynist)and It's Not the Only App That Is

The app itself and the people who run it set up algorithms that specifically target Black, Indigenous, Trans and the LGBQ Community and make it harder for them to go viral, express their thoughts, feelings and experiences and generally enjoy the app like the White, Straight Community is able to.

I'll give you an example or two, I recently dueted a video where a woman had drawn a Black version of Harley Quinn (pretty cool right?), the entire video was literally her drawing the character in timelapse. Tiktok took down my video and cited it as "violating twitter rules and conduct". Huh?  Even more recently today I was prompted to change my username (which I didn't do) to a numerical username with symbols because apparently tiktok's username guidelines had "changed" to only accept usernames with numbers, symbols and underscores. Does that make sense? No. Was that happening to other people? No. But it is worth noting that this did appear a day after I dueted a video that called out tiktok's racism when a well known user "consciouslee"(who has over a million followers) known to be a supporter of Black Rights, Trans Rights, Women's Rights and LGBQ Rights, was being shadowbanned.

If you are unfamiliar with the term, shadowbanned it is when apps stop the spread of your content throughout the app and prevent it from reaching others, this is something twitter was known for during the BLM protests or the bombings in Gaza, Instagram is known for this too, it also includes blocking hashtags so users can't find up to date information on current political and human rights happenings. Tiktok was somewhat recently bought out by an American company that's said to have been a big supporter and donor to the Tang Demon so I suppose this isn't surprising however once an app is released into the ether it no longer belongs to the company but the users who create the experience, and given that Tiktok has no problems allowing White Creators to go viral with Black/Indigenous or LGBTQ sounds it's a little (a lot) hypocritical).

3. Black People Like Rock, Metal and SciFi

This ties back into the whole "Black People are not a monolith theme" but there are so many instances of Black People (and other BIPOC) not joining a scene not because they aren't interested but simply because they haven't been welcomed and do not feel safe there. When I visited my cousin in Florida I remember his wife at the time got really excited when I asked her to take me to an Open Mic, she was hoping she would hear some Country Music, and the minute we got in the car she turned up her tunes full blast and sang to her heart's content. She told me she was frightened to go to this part of town and that she'd never been and how she would love to go line dancing but it just didn't feel safe for her where she was living. Black People have had so many beautiful experiences stolen from them because we were made to feel scared or unwelcome, the swimming pool is a great example. The running joke that "most Black Americans can't swim" is directly correlated with the Jim Crow era when White People would throw bleach in the swimming pools while Black children were swimming in it to discourage them from swimming. Every action has a reaction and when it comes to Black People and their interests it very seldom has to do with myopia, or small-mindedness. 

4. Black People Can't Fix Racism

Racism was created by White People to underscore and fuel capitalism, if White People could prove that Black, Indigenous, Chinese etc etc People were inferior and subhuman then subjugating them and using and abusing them for free to work the land, steal the land, create the railroads wasn't an issue. By the way this is the same way Hitler was able to justify stealing and killing millions of Jews to the people of Germany, and you can guess what they did with their belongings? Melted down the gold and kept it for their own etc. This system was created so that the English could thrive at a time when they felt like shit, they treated the Scottish and the Irish similarly, why? Because money and power. This is why Black People cannot fix this system, it was not created for us, it was created for White People, more specifically Straight White People and even more specifically Straight White Men. So it is incumbent on White People, Straight White People and Straight White Men to fix it.

5. Black People Don't Want Revenge

I don't know if revenge (on people who've literally never done anything to you) is the going rate for White Rage but Black folx much like Indigenous folx just want to live in a just and equitable society, we don't have the energy or the heart (or lack of heart) for all this oppressive bullshit. We just want to live our lives and as the Rosewood Massacre proved, the problem isn't with Black People not minding their business, it's with White People not leaving Black People alone while we're trying to mind our business.

6. Black People Don't Owe You Education on Racism

It is not incumbent on the oppressed to teach the oppressor, the emotional labour involved in the herculean task of teaching the oppressor how they've hurt you is a job and as such should be paid. Black People have done enough free labour and received absolutely no compensation for it and as we now live in an age of google and youtube and your tax dollars ensure you libraries please do not harass that one Black friend/colleague/co-worker into teaching you about racism. They are already having a hard enough time with being Black in Western society, they do not need the added burden of your feelings and your education. This is also true for other oppressed groups (see also Indigenous, LGBTQ, POC)

As we go into Black History Month please keep these things in mind and remember, most importantly, Black People are PEOPLE. Black People are trying to live their lives, you being afraid of a Black Person doesn't mean that Black Person is scary. If you see a Black Person living their life and minding their business LEAVE THEM ALONE. Black People ride subways, go horseback riding, make music, paint wildlife, take photographs, go bird watching, buy comics, get their hair done, buy groceries, have goals, dreams and participate in all the normal things that human beings participate in because that's what we are so let's all do our best to remember that. Everyone has the right to a fair and equitable life not just Straight, Cisgender, Able-bodied White Folks. Thanks and have a decent February.

Joy

Long time no see..or um, type or whatnot...anyway, I'VE GOT A NEW SINGLE OUT!!! That's the whole post, that's it. And that's quite fine to be honest, I worked very hard. 'Tis a new bachata style single, that you can dance, kiss or drink pensively to.... so do me the great honor of checking it out and then darling, have a glorious night....as glorious as you can in 2020, which probably isn't that great to be honest, but hey, do what you can.

I don't have much to say. Things haven't gone as I'd hoped (this is a gross understatement) so I'm making my tiktoks, singing my songs and trying to keep it together. If you're American, please vote Biden/Harris and if you're anyone else, please wear a mask. I'm not entertaining any other opinions surrounding these issues, it really is a matter of life or death in both situations. Halloween has been cancelled in my province so if you want, join me for some live tarot readings on Tiktok. It will be a full moon after all, I'll be the one dressed as a cat and drinking my weight in red wine.

Later Felines,

Joy

What? Okay so the history was anything but happy (no surprise there) but I'm super duper stoked to watch the social media takeover right now and see all the Indigenous creators doing their incredible, incredible stuff. it's 100% dope and I absolutely love to see it! Black and Indigenous Peoples have a lot in common when it comes to struggle and oppression. We were both stripped of our culture, our land and our heritage and we both fight to this day, with everything we have, to reclaim it. Today history wants to tell us that that sad sack, Christopher Columbus, deserves his own personal day for raping, pillaging, colonizing, degrading, and destroying so many incredible people and cultures and we say NO. We say this day belongs to the people who were here long before this dumbass sailed across the ocean and landed in the opposite direction of where he was even trying to go. Y'all trying to give a holiday to a man for being a directionally impaired, depraved lunatic. I'll thank thee, no. Today is Indigenous Peoples Day, Indigenous Lives Matter, Black Lives Matter, Trans Lives Matter and the Skydome is the fucking SKYDOME (sorry still pissed about that). I said what I said. Have a great day, go learn something new today about Turtle Island and the People to whom this land truly belongs.

I want to acknowledge that I am on the traditional territory of many nations including the Mississaugas of the Credit, the Anishnabeg, the Chippewa, the Haudenosaunee and the Wendat peoples and this land is now home to many diverse First Nations, Inuit and Métis peoples.

I had a whole lovely, thoughtful post lined up and it rather promptly ate itself. So I guess I'll just post the video again, say succinctly that I miss recording in the studio, playing live and making music with others and let you know in a very boring way that I'm working on releasing a single called A Letter/Una Carta by sometime in November. My friend and photographer Lisa Marie Kruchak and I had a great time this past weekend shooting looks for the cover art. I'll post an interesting blog regarding that later when I have access to a trustworthy and reliable device. In the meantime, check out below....

Cheers and Something that Rhymes with Cheers That Isn't Awful, 

Joy

Well of course it isn't, dumbass, who would want to catch writer's block? Think before you say these things! Yeesh!  Anyway yeah, so I'm a little creatively clogged, it's no big, I know the song or songs are there they just need a little coaxing, and what in life doesn't need that? In theory as a Taurus this shouldn't be a problem, we're the best coaxers alive, we can coax people into doing things for years at a time that they barely had a passing interest in two minutes before. It's our gift, it's our curse. But who cares about what y'all are trying to do, let's talk about meeeeeee!  I need a song, a song for my soul and a song for my album, music keeps the engines running and my battery is dying quick. I know I have the material I just need to sew it into something. Stand by, this could take all week.....

Dazed and Confused,

Joy