Yeah, this post is not gonna end well. Nobody gives a rat's butt what "Gwyneth Said" I know, I know, but I just think it's funny that she's spent so much of her career being haughty and solipsistic and the chicken comes home to roost nearly every.time (no word on her latest rich, white, nonsense at press time) The tweets in her head should really just stay there tbh, leave it in draft Gwyneth! Leave it in draft. With that in mind, let's take a look at her greatest hits, hurts, gut punches, horrific soliloquies, GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN.....
Yeah, it's ugly, hell it's fugly (remember that word? ) Yes folx, Gwyneth is awful, but I'd have to say the gift that keeps on giving is the time she snottily proclaimed that she felt that in the future "Clueless will be far more dated than Emma" yes Emma, the boring little Jane Austen book turned movie that Gwyneth starred in at the height of her head-ballooning (which also coincided with her dating the most popular man in the world at that time, William Bradley Pitt).
Now now, don't chew my head off, I'm certainly not declaring Emma, the book, to be boring (I read half of it, and for someone who recoils like a snake at Fiction that's quite a lot thank you) but when I tell you that if you have problems sleeping you need to pop in the "arthouse" film I'm not being snippy (well perhaps a little) I am TRULY trying to cure you of your insomnia because this movie is like watching paint watch paint dry. Yes, I said it, and I meant it.
So dear friends, if you take anything from this blog post take thou this, Vagina Scented candles are a TERRIBLE idea, Clueless is a timeless classic and Gwyneth Paltrow is a solipsistic, little twat. You're welcome and Good Day!
-Joy
I SAID GOOD DAY!