Toxic Tweets, The Kardashians and the Social Media Lie,

Y'all this is a PSA for those lost to the toxicity of the Kardashian family dynamic. A few key points to assist you with the advantageous endgame of not playing yourself.

1. The Right Person Will Never Get Tired of You.

This is bullshit. Everyone will get tired of you, You will get tired of you. How can you expect someone not to get tired of you when we all wake up some mornings looking in the mirror like "Damn homey, you again?"                                   Bruh, everyone gets tired of everyone, parents get tired of their children and they birthed them! People need space, people need alone time, people need other people outside their romantic relationships. No man is an island but similarly no relationship is a paradise. In any relationship whether romantic or platonic, people need their own space, people need time apart, this is the reason we were all born and we all die alone. Being with someone 24-7 isn't "relationship goals" it's toxic. Develop your own sense of self and your own skills and passions so that when someone needs a break from you you're not crying in your ice cream talkin' 'bout "YOU SAID I WAS THE ONE!!" Toxic.

2. The Right Person Will Know Exactly How to Love You

NO THEY WON'T. This is the entire purpose of communication. As far as I'm aware we've not yet cracked the ability to read others' minds as a species and even if someone is deeply in love with you they still need you to articulate what you're feeling. You still need to share your triggers, your traumas, what makes you happy, sad etc to give anyone in any kind of relationship with you some sense of how to love you and what makes you feel safe. Expecting someone to know you by heart without doing the work of articulating and expressing to them who you are and what you need is not only childish but incredibly toxic and completely unfair to anyone in or embarking on a relationship with you.

3. The Right Person Will Only Be Attracted to Me

What? *sigh* There's so much to unpack here that I'm just going to leave it at NO.

4. The Right Person Will Know How to Handle Me At My Worst.

The right person will still want to be with you at your worst, yes but you better not make your worst an everyday occasion just because the right person can "handle" it. That's abuse.

5.The Right Person Will Be Proud to Show Me Off

Again, no. Some people just aren't the showy type. Some folks can be deeply in love and still want to keep it to themselves because they're just not the type to flaunt things. This is the solipsistic "If a tree falls in the forest.." line of thinking. A relationship is still a relationship even if it's not plastered all over social media. Some people just like their privacy, the Kardashian family has y'all thinking that's a red flag but it's actually pretty healthy to keep personal things to yourself, not everything requires an audience. (Which reminds me how much I absolutely abhor RomComs for the simple fact that they always have a massive PDA at the end, THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE). A relationship is still a relationship even if the entire world isn't applauding you for it.

6. The Right Person Will Make Me Happy.

No. You are responsible for making you happy. As Will Smith says, It's unrealistic and inconsiderate (and quite frankly absurd) to expect someone to do something for you that you can't even do for yourself. Even if they could "make you happy" in the short term, that's not something that anyone can keep up to any long term effect. It would be, unequivocally exhausting to endeavour.  

To play the other side for a moment, what if they do make you happy? What if being with this person is what makes you so absurdly happy that, if they leave you temporarily or permanently you are unable to find that happiness? What will you do then? If one person is the complete source of your happiness that same person can be the complete source of your misery when they decide not to "make you happy" anymore. Putting this kind of power in someone else's hands is not only a burden on them but a completely insane thing to do to yourself. Find ways to make yourself happy that aren't entirely incumbent on another person or you will surely and shortly find yourself miserable.

Ultimately, relying on a reality tv family for lessons in relationships will be everyone's downfall, if you'd like to know how to make money (off the backs of others) and live a lavish life of excess, absolutely follow the Kardashian bible (I think you'll need a cool few million first to start though) but if you're looking for relationship advice from celebrities try looking to the ones who've lasted The Denzels and Paulettes, the Goldies and Kurts, the Stings and Trudies, the Lebrons and Savannahs. People who don't need to flaunt their relationship to prove the value of it. Social Media can be (A LOT of) fun but it can also be quite damaging once we start internalizing toxic views created to boost brands disguised as relationships. Enjoy it if you can but try to be discerning, a brand and a relationship can look pretty similar if marketed the right way.

 

Joy

 

 

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