I'm getting mighty tired of all this bullshit. The genocides on Turtle Island and Palestinian soil. The cruelty to houseless people in Toronto, the attacks on Muslim communities for daring to enjoy their daily lives. Having to fight and trick Tiktok as a Black Content Creator to get them to share even 1/16th of my videos like they share White Content Creators. They other day Tiktok literally used a video of a Black Educator that they banned to talk about racism, it's all so sickening.
Being anything other than Straight and White on this continent (that was stolen by the way) is fucking exhausting, exhausting on a daily basis, from macro to micro aggressions it never ends and I am so damn tired. All I want to do is make music and talk about comic books and action movies and my obsession with Nightmare on Elm Street. I want to be able to do what White girls can do, posting selfies about vacations and new handbags and hair colours. But instead everything is a constant fucking battle because colonizers don't like the fact that I have dark skin and dare to live in the world.
Everything is a fucking battle because colonizers couldn't stand that Indigenous Folx were minding their business being caretakers of their land. Everything is a fucking battle because I've been told so many times to "Go back to your country" and because of colonizers I have no idea where the fuck that even is. I just want to make music and enjoy my damn life but here we fucking are.
I truly wish those cryogenic chambers in Demolition Man were real because I would absolutely take a 40-60 year nap from all this cruel, capitalist garbage. I've grown tired of trying to incite people to care about other people, I've grown particularly tired of trying to incite non-marginalized people to give a rat's ass about what marginalized people go through every single day and the myriad of ways we are casually suppressed, erased, depleted and used so I've released myself of that burden.
For the rest of the year I'm focusing on me and what I need to survive and thrive, I deserve to be happy simply because I am here not to mention the unrelenting garbage hurled at me simply because of the colour of my skin. Black Women spend so much of our lives sacrificing ourselves for others and honestly it needs to stop. It is not our job to save the world, and it's time for others to step up to the plate, particularly those whose ancestors colonized us and Indigenous people and decimated this side of the planet in doing so. As a wise woman once said, "I'm doing me" y'all can sort yourselves out.